


We're All Fools Here

by Crookes



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell
Genre: Drunk Shenanigans, M/M, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, this is pure self-indulgence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crookes/pseuds/Crookes
Summary: Uhtred gets drunk. Then Finan gets drunk. The sky spins and somehow they land on their feet.
Relationships: Finan/Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	We're All Fools Here

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally an indulgence on my part and an attempt to work through some writers block on a longer fic, it's barely been edited so any mistakes just holler at me but yeah I just wanted an excuse to write Uhtred being a stupid drunk and Finan being soft.

Uhtred was drunk.

He was aware of this in the same way that he was aware that the sky was spinning. Fuzzily.

It wasn’t his fault really, Rypere and Sihtric had kept buying him more ale. He would make them do drills all day tomorrow, if he had to suffer being hungover, so would they.

“What the bloody hell are you giggling for now?”

Uhtred squinted to his left and realised he was leaning on Finan.

“What?”

“That’s what I’m asking you!” Finan huffed and tried to get a firmer grip about Uhtred’s waist as he shuffled them slowly back to the hall, where he could put Uhtred to bed and finally get some sleep himself.

Uhtred just snickered and waved his hand vaguely, whatever _that_ meant.

“How did you even get like this, Jesus I leave you alone for one night!”

Uhtred looked up at Finan, suddenly remembering.

“That’s right! Where were you?” he asked accusingly.

“Organising the watch rotation like we discussed, you idiot,” Finan answered, though in truth he had agreed he would meet them at the tavern after. They all enjoyed dropping in on the local tavern now and again, they had ale at home, sure, but it was more about the atmosphere.

Finan had prolonged his work instead, needing some time to himself and only arriving when everyone was already trashed and heading home. He wished he had not avoided it now if this was the outcome.

Uhtred stumbled a little as they got through the hall door and Finan pulled at Uhtred’s waist again to get him to rest his weight more heavily on him. Finan could take it after all and if Uhtred fell over now it would be far more difficult to get him back up again.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I made Alfred so angry he turned purple?” Uhtred was snickering to himself again.

“I was probably there, lord, you managed to inspire rage in him often enough,” Finan responded. They were so close to the bed of furs at the back of the hall now. Uhtred had a proper bed curtained off in the rafters but there was no chance Finan would manage to get him up there now, so this would have to do.

“Ha! That’s true! I fear Edward has inherited all of his wrath and none of his sense,” Uhtred complained.

“That is - ” Finan paused, “surprisingly coherent of you, and probably true.”

“Why must I always be tied to these Saxon kings with their grubby little priests?” Uhtred whined, not really expecting an answer but drunk enough for his frustration to seep through. In the back of his ale-befuddled mind, he knew it was fate however and fate was inescapable. It didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Well they definitely do not deserve you but we make the best of it I’d say. Besides, you’ve managed to thin the herd of priests a little in your time,” Finan joked, trying to distract Uhtred from that particular train of thought. He would rather have a giggling drunk on his hands than a morose one.

An upset Uhtred also tended to make Finan want to strangle whoever was to blame and he couldn’t very well go around strangling kings without getting his head lopped off. Not to mention one was already dead and therefore out of his reach, the prick.

Uhtred let out a bark of laughter that reverberated in the quiet night just as Finan managed to tip him onto the bed. He looked up at Finan mischievously.

“I have, haven’t I?” Uhtred laughed some more.

“Shush, Jesus you’ll wake the whole estate,” Finan replied, ignoring the pang in his gut at the way Uhtred looked, staring up at him. Finan was used to doing that by now. “Come on you big idiot, move back, you’ll only roll off in the night if you lie this close to the edge.”

Uhtred half-heartedly shuffled back a little and then gave up with a huff.

Finan rolled his eyes with a grin, but let him be.

Uhtred was now trying to remove the jerkin he was wearing over his tunic and let out a small noise of confusion when it wouldn’t budge.

“You need to -” Finan reached for the ties to help him but Uhtred’s hands kept getting in the way, “would you just -” Finan batted his hand away, “stop!”

Uhtred was laughing again, a low rumble that shook his frame but he lifted his hands away compliantly enough.

“You realise I will never let you live this down,” Finan smirked as he worked on the ties.

“Pfft…I can give as good as I get,” Uhtred winked at him.

“Fucking hell, you’ll be the death of me,” Finan whispered to himself.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing, lord,” Finan answered, louder now, “arms up!” Finan ordered, the ties finally loose as he pulled the jerkin over Uhtred’s head.

Uhtred would be fine sleeping in his tunic and britches but the boots probably needed to come off so Finan went to remove them.

Uhtred wriggled his toes once the boots were gone.

“You’re ridiculous, and most definitely not living this down,” Finan slapped the side of Uhtred’s leg lightly and started to walk away, “goodnight, lord, I’ll make sure there’s some fresh water put out for you in the morning.”

“Why do you do it?”

Finan stopped, barely having made it a pace away, and looked back at Uhtred, “Do what?”

“Look after me like you do,” Uhtred explained, the mirth gone from his face and a searching look in its’ place.

Finan froze one moment and let out a surprised huff of laughter the next. “What does _that_ mean?” Finan walked back to the bed where Uhtred was now sitting up on his elbows.

“I mean what I said,” Uhtred said simply, still holding Finan’s gaze calmly.

“Why, would you rather I had left you to sleep on the tavern floor?”

“No that’s not, that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” Uhtred glared at him.

This was dangerous, Finan knew it was dangerous, but he felt trapped by it, unable to remove himself like he usually would.

“You saved my life, you’re my friend,” Finan answered finally, looking away because even that felt like too much of an admission.

“And you are _my_ friend and have saved my life, many times over, but there are other men I consider friends, other men I have saved and other men who have saved me. I still doubt that half of them would take the time to remove my shoes when I have had too much ale,” Uhtred pointed out.

“You have certainly had too much ale, lord, probably best you sleep and we will talk in the morning,” Finan insisted, only just bringing himself to meet Uhtred’s eyes again.

“Finan, would you just… I have not had so much that I don’t know what I’m saying,”

“Well, what do you want me to say?!” Finan exclaimed, his breath felt thin and shaky in his chest and his pulse thrummed as if he were the one who had been drinking.

Uhtred looked away and flopped back onto the bed, “I don’t know.”

“Then we should both get some sleep and I will see you tomorrow,” Finan turned tail and walked out of the hall to his own lodgings. He went as fast as he would allow himself without running.

~

Finan was avoiding Uhtred.

He feared he might be being obvious about it but that only made him want to avoid Uhtred more. There was at least always plenty to do on the estate and therefore plenty to keep him busy but his eyes were laden with lack of sleep and the work was only making him more tired.

So when Osferth came to drag him to supper his defences were down, thinking only of a hot meal and not remembering that supper would be at the hall. Where Uhtred would be.

By the time he had sat down and Uhtred had nodded at him with an easy smile Finan realised Uhtred had probably forgotten the whole thing and he had overreacted for nothing.

A knot in his chest loosened as Finan inhaled the sweet relief of knowing things would not be awkward between them.

Mind appeased he set about eating and drinking his fill.

Once the sky had blackened Finan was well on his way to being drunk. The irony was not lost on him but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he spun a tale to Osferth of a time he had snuck up on Sihtric and scared the shit out of him so bad, Sihtric had run away screaming about shadow-walkers.

Sihtric, beside him, was torn between glaring at Finan and laughing along.

“I’m to my bed,” Finan said eventually, ruffling Osferth’s hair as he stood. He realised Uhtred was no longer at the table but could not remember when he had left. Probably for the best.

He paused in the night air when he was outside, enjoying the slight buzz humming through his veins. It had been a long day but things would go back to normal now.

“Now look who’s drunk.”

Finan turned and saw Uhtred leaning against the far side of the hall, basked in shadow. Finan walked over to him with a grin, feeling braver than he had that morning.

“Well, no-one ever accused either of us of moderation,”

“True,” Uhtred stepped forward, closing what was left of the distance between them, “Are you more likely to answer me if it is you that has had too much to drink instead of me?”

Finan felt his fingers twitch, _shit_ he should have just shrugged him off and gone home, kept his distance a little longer, of course Uhtred hadn’t forgotten.

“Answer what, lord?”

“You know what, Finan,” Uhtred insisted.

“Don’t,” Finan bit out finally, voice firm but pleading.

“Don’t what?”

“ _Do this_! Don’t do this for fucks sake, neither of us will like where it leads,” Finan rasped, his nightmare of Uhtred finding out and things becoming so irreparably broken between them that he was forced to leave edging closer by the second.

“Who says? Why is that your decision?!” Uhtred demanded angrily.

“Because you’re not the one who loses out in this situation you earsling!” Finan replied, his own temper flaring.

“Who says?” Uhtred asked again, softer this time.

Finan felt as if he had been thrown in a frozen lake in the depths of winter but then they heard movement and chatter from the direction of the hall’s entrance and hot panic rushed back in.

Uhtred grabbed his wrist and dragged Finan with him as they moved further out of sight. They waited till the last of the men had left, Uhtred watching the door and Finan watching Uhtred.

Finally Uhtred turned back to him.

“It’s only that I can’t stop thinking about it,” Uhtred admitted quietly once they were sure they would not be overheard, “and the way you act sometimes -” Uhtred broke off and sighed, “I was definitely drunk and spouting off last night but even if you didn’t answer me you also didn’t say no.”

“No,”

“What?” Uhtred startled.

“No, I didn’t say no,” Finan clarified.

“I mean, you might be right, this might be a bad idea,” Uhtred swallowed nervously.

“Oh, _terrible_ ,” Finan smirked.

“A hundred different things could go wrong, it could distract us in battle or upset some of the men if they think I favour you over them,”

“I mean you do favour me so that ship has sailed,” Finan winked.

“Truly this is worst idea we have ever had,” Uhtred continued, though he was smiling now.

“Agreed,” Finan nodded, attempting to be serious, but his eyes kept dropping to Uhtred’s lips as he spoke and they had moved so close now that there was barely a breath between them.

“Fuck it, I’ve never been good at denying myself.”

“It’s the Dane in you,” Finan laughed, and met his kiss halfway.

 _Sweet Jesus_ but Uhtred kissed like his life depended on it, Finan could do this forever.

“What’s your excuse then?” Uhtred huffed out between kisses.

“I’m Irish, we’re all mad bastards,” Finan smiled against Uhtred lips and _fuck_ he hadn’t realised you could taste laughter but as he pulled Uhtred closer to drink it down he knew there was nothing sweeter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Who needs plot when you can have idiots being in love amirite?
> 
> I'm over on [tumblr](crookes-library.tumblr.com/) if you wanna yell about The Last Kingdom with me :)


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